Rushing is NOT on The Menu

Yesterday, as I sat folding baby's laundry, I started to remember all about my first pregnancy. I remember feeling antsy as well. I also remember being 39 weeks and my Dr. telling me that he wanted to induce me at 40 weeks. I stood my ground and said NO. The Dr. would allow me to go to 41 weeks. The Induction was scheduled for 40 weeks and 4 days.

I remember that morning. I woke up smelling smoke. I woke Jerry up and he inspected our whole place. It was quite an eventful morning. We called the fire department and fire men came to check things out, even the surrounding neighbors. All was in the clear and we gathered our bags and headed to the hospital.

I remember getting started on pitocin/cervidil - after 48 hours of going back and forth, nothing happened. I never understood why these medicines didn't just kick my labor into high gear {I know now, it just wasn't time}. I do remember the disappointment I felt when I was told they were taking me off of the medicines and instead of sending me home, they said a c-section would be just fine. At that point, I was tired of being in the hospital. It's funny how nurses can word things sometimes to make you feel like if you don't make a certain decision, you aren't looking out for the best of your child. I know not every nurse is like that but in our experience, that's how it was.

Wednesday, April 29th, our c-sec was scheduled for 7:00 p.m. Isabella was born healthy. She was 9 lbs and 1 oz. I remember seeing her for the first time. I imagined it being so different. I was glad she was here but my emotions were very stoic...I never understood why that was too. They took Isabella away and after 40 minutes, I was reunited with my girl. I really couldn't believe I was a momma.

It wasn't until later, when I had done research on natural birth, when I realized how amazing a woman's body is. I realized the rush of oxytocin {instant love hormones} were not released because I had a cesarean. It's just not natural. Don't get me wrong, I love my baby girl. I knew then that I wanted to do birth as naturally as possible but when you are on a Dr.'s schedule, even with a birth plan...things don't always go the way you want. When Isabella was 2 months, I was researching my options so that when the time came for us to have our next baby, I would know what I wanted.

So here I am, at 39 weeks with Caiden and I realize this time around things will be very different. I have to remind myself daily of why I am doing what I'm doing. I have to stop myself at times from rushing Caiden. "He will come when he's ready!" It's true. He will and it will be worth the wait to experience the rush of Labor, It will be worth the wait feeling protective over and in love with my little cub right away, It will be worth the wait to not be separated instantly from my baby, it will be worth the wait to gaze into his eyes and try to nurse {something I didn't get to do right away before}. IT WILL BE WORTH THE WAIT!